JOKES GALORE..HAHAHAHA!!!!

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said he didn’t realize that a little tap could scare him so much.

The driver replied “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving

‘hearses’ for the last 25 years!”

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A blonde is driving down the road and then she slams on her brakes because she was not watching and smacks into the back of some guy in a truck. The guy gets out and starts yelling at her. The blonde gets out of her car and starts talking back at him. He gets so angry that he draws a circle in the sand on the side of the road and tells her he will hurt her if she gets out of the circle.

He then gets out a sledge hammer and starts smashing up her car and then he hears her laughing.

He turns around and tells her to shut up then continues smashing her and then shortly after, he hears her laughing again. Finally after the third times she laughs he turns around and says,

“What are you laughing about? I am smashing your car and you are laughing?”

She laughs again then says, “Well when you weren’t looking I stepped out of the circle three times!”

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The Kenya Police , The FBI, and the CIA were all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals ahead of Hillary Clinton's visit to Kenya. Therefore, the Kenyan President decided to give them a test. He released a rabbit into Mau Forest and told each of them to try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants and spies throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three days of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. They are a figment of our imagination.

The FBI goes in. After two days with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming anyway!

The Kenya Police goes in. They came out half an hour later with a badly beaten pig. The pig was yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

They won!


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At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out."

"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea,right?"

"Right."

"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Er--right."

"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you're right."

"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Cildren of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"

"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?